Before You Say “I Do”…

This is an outline of issues to consider together as you plan for marriage. It’s an assessment tool that I developed and use in premarital counseling. As you review these areas of your life, think of your future with your mate in marriage, and ask yourself if there are “adjustments to” and/or “compatibility with” these seven aspects that will impact your marriage relationship…

 

1) – Family | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ parents? children? step-kids? ex-spouses? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

2) – Outlook | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ life goals? family goals? religious beliefs? world views? political views? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

3) – Responsibilities | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ financial temperament? child support? debts? financial obligations? spending habits? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

4) – Genetics | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ family traits? personality? physical attractions? diseases? temperament? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

5) – Interests | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ cultural backgrounds? friends? hobbies? pastimes? holiday activities? high-risk pastimes? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

6) – Vocation | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ employment? job hours? job stress levels? career requirements? continuing education? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

7) – Experiences | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ past relationships? education levels? trauma? post traumatic stress issues? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage?