Conflict Assessment

This is an outline of issues to consider together as you plan for marriage or as a tool for identifying conflict with marriage. It’s an assessment tool that I developed and use in Marriage Care, along with the 5 Love Languages“FORGIVE & LOVE” Premarital Assessment, and “PRAYER” Resolution Guide tools.

 

   Premarital Discussion

As you review these areas of your life, think of your future with your mate in marriage, and ask yourself if there are “adjustments to” and/or “compatibility with” these seven aspects that will impact your marriage relationship…

 

1) – Family | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ parents? children? step-kids? ex-spouses? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

2) – Outlook | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ life goals? family goals? religious beliefs? world views? political views? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

3) – Responsibilities | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ financial temperament? child support? debts? financial obligations? spending habits? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

4) – Genetics | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ family traits? personality? physical attractions? diseases? temperament? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

5) – Interests | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ cultural backgrounds? friends? hobbies? pastimes? holiday activities? high-risk pastimes? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

6) – Vocation | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ employment? job hours? job stress levels? career requirements? continuing education? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

7) – Experiences | Consider your marriage with yours’ & spouses’ past relationships? education levels? trauma? post traumatic stress issues? How do you expect them to influence your marriage and/or be part of your marriage? 

 

 

Marriage Care…

I am not a licensed or clinically trained counselor, but as a church pastor I am sometimes available to meet with a couple who would like to talk about your current relationship status and improving it or preparing for it. You may also enjoy these Marriage Care resources: Marriage Conflict Resolution • Premarital Counseling  •  “FORGIVE & LOVE” Premarital Assessment  •  “PRAYER” Resolution Guide • 5 Love Languages  •  1 Corinthians 13:4-7  •  Conflict Assessment  •  Marriage Care Inquiry