Somewhere on social media I saw a quote that expressed the idea that grief is an ocean. I don’t know where I saw it, who said it or how it was originally said, but I remember it being put like this: Grief is like the ocean, you can’t stop it, you can only learn to swim in it. That’s a … Continue reading →
There is a verse in the book of Ecclesiastes that I find very intriguing. It is just a quick interjection of a simple thought but recently while I was listening to the book of Ecclesiastes while driving down the road, it captured my attention. The verse is Ecclesiastes 5:20 and it says, “They seldom reflect on the days of their … Continue reading →
As a hospital chaplain I am frequently around families at the bedside of their dying loved one. When they die, it is very common to hear family comfort one another by saying that their loved one is now in Heaven and out of pain. While it is encouraging for the family to find comfort in this thought, my mind tends … Continue reading →
I watched an elderly gentleman struggling with saying goodbye to his older dying sister. It was obvious that he felt awkward and was grappling with what to say. He stammered, “You look good today” then he blurted out “My, are we having good weather” and then finally said “Oh, you have a lot of visitors” before he turned away from … Continue reading →
There is a popular adage that goes, “Time heals all things.” While there is some truth to that, it doesn’t mean that healing from our loss will automatically occur with the passage of time. It may be more accurate to say, “Time helps the healing of all things.” I believe it was Billy Graham who once said, “It’s not time … Continue reading →
An advance directive for medical care is how we make our wishes known to our family and healthcare providers if we become too ill to speak for ourselves. Let me mention some medical circumstances that having an advanced directive from the patient is helpful and beneficial. If you get in a terrible car accident or have a bad stroke or … Continue reading →
When a loved one lays unconscious and dependent on a machine to breathe or a simple drive to the grocery store is interrupted by a drunk driver or a physician informs you that the pain you thought was a pulled muscle is actually stage 4 cancer, we ask Why? Why do bad things happen? In this post I want to pull … Continue reading →
I recently heard a news story about the perceived rudeness among the public and especially from those who once were concerned about providing customer service. The news story shared some examples, cited the COVID lock down as the probable reason, and said the solution to this problem is for all of us to just keep to ourselves. While I agree … Continue reading →
I’m not one to comment on everything that happens in our society and culture, especially when it involves celebrities, but the recent passing of Jimmy Buffett is an opportunity for me to remind us all of the obvious. The obvious is that death doesn’t care if you are a billionaire or a pauper, it’s going to have its day with … Continue reading →
There is a passage in Revelation where Jesus compliments the church at Ephesus and then gives them a warning to return to the things they did at first. This is what He says, “You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first” (Revelation 2:4-5 NIV). … Continue reading →
I want to address the issue of children in grief and how adults can best help them cope and process their feelings through their journey of grief. So here I am going to share 8 tips or principles and insights to consider when you are in a role of guiding a child through their grief. Know that grieving is unique … Continue reading →
Many years ago I saw a Larry King television show where he was interviewing Tommy Lasorda about the unexpected death of his adult son. Larry King use to have a late night television interview show where he interviewed celebrities and all kinds of famous people. Tommy Lasorda was the manager for the LA Dodgers in the 90’s and very popular … Continue reading →
This post is going to be a little bit of inside baseball but I think it can be followed by those with an interest, even if you are not employed in the work of a hospital chaplain or a hospice chaplain or corporate chaplain or law enforcement chaplain. I’m going to write from my vantage point of a hospital chaplain … Continue reading →
The immediate shock and despair of a loved one’s passing can leave us feeling hopeless about the future. No matter how much we may think we are prepared, death is devastating. It is the perfect earthly definition of finality, and it’s why we sometimes doubt that we’ll ever feel hopeful again. However, this is an issue dealt with in the … Continue reading →
It is a very emotionally difficult position to be in when a physician asks the family if they want them to do all they can to keep your loved one alive or if you want them to pass away naturally. That conversation, if unprepared for, is very hard to navigate because no one wants to feel like they are choosing … Continue reading →
There is one verse in Scripture that gives us God’s intentions of calling pastors into the service of His church and its Ephesians 4:11 which states, “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers.” The word that the King James translates as “pastor” is actually the word for “shepherd” and that is … Continue reading →
If you are a church pastor or a church lay person who has taken up the assignment of visiting church members during their hospital stay, this post is for you. I want to address seven points of etiquette and guiding principles when it comes to visiting a parishioner in the hospital. Unless you work in a hospital, the dynamics and … Continue reading →
For me, there is nothing more important in conducting a hospital visit with a patient than sharing an appropriate verse of Scripture. Sharing the right Bible verse will provide encouragement and hope for a Christian hospital patient and family. Here, I want to share some Bible verses for you to choose from to share on your visit. You can share … Continue reading →
The doctrine of the “second coming” or what some call “the rapture” are not presented in the Bible for an intellectual exercise but it is there to spur us on to hope. I realize that some students of prophecy think the second coming and the rapture are two different events, while many recognize them as the same. Here, I wish … Continue reading →
As a chaplain at a trauma hospital just miles from the beaches of the upper Gulf Coast, I frequently deal with patients and families who have had diving accidents. In my experience, diving accidents best sum up what it means to have your world shattered. Diving accidents means a family has come to our coast waters and beaches for relaxation … Continue reading →
A spiritual crisis is when tragedy strikes, or a traumatic event occurs, or circumstances weigh so heavily on your heart that you turn toward God and realize you’re disconnected from Him. The crisis becomes that you need God but you’re not sure He is there or you’re not sure how to receive His help or intervention. The crisis is that … Continue reading →
If you do a music app or some type of music download service that allows you to build a playlist, consider building one that will support your grief journey. Music can be therapeutic and having a playlist like this can help you grieve appropriately. Yes, listening to some of these songs will bring a tear to your eye but they’ll … Continue reading →
There are signs of dying when a loved-one is struggling with a terminal disease or for whatever reason is at the end of their life. People don’t die in real life as they do in the movies. Hollywood often portrays death as a split second closing of the eyes while the person is speaking in mid-sentence. Dying isn’t so clean … Continue reading →
I’ve been contemplating Ecclesiastes 1:11 which says, “No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them” (NIV). After we die, it’s just a matter of time until only our closest friends and family remember us. Life moves on for the living, and eventually even they die. Which means that … Continue reading →
Today, we recognize the whole person as having three interactive dimensions of body, mind, and spirit. We care for the body through proper nutrition and exercise. We care for the mind through similar efforts that help keep us grounded in reality and social behavior. But what about the spirit? How do we care for our spirit? Well, it is the … Continue reading →
The gospel is the good news of Christ’s redemptive plan to deliver us out of Satan’s grip in the world around us. It is the good news that Jesus stepped into humanity to become the sacrifice for our sins to rightfully redeem us from this fallen world. Here is what I call the ABC’s of the Gospel because they tell … Continue reading →
When a loved one dies, the love that you’ve had for them or with them does not die. Love and the relationship that you have had does not die with the person. You still carry that love with you and that is the reason you are grieving the loss. With the person no longer available for you to express your … Continue reading →
In the process of grieving, there is no time frame assigned or one-size fits all approach to assure a healthy grieving process. There are elements to healthy grieving that one can be intentionally incorporate into their grieving experience, and that is what I want to share here. I want to share some objectives to aim for as you move forward … Continue reading →
I want to address a topic that I find myself dealing with from time to time as a hospital chaplain and that is notifying children of a family death. It is not uncommon for children to be shielded from the condition of a dying parent or family member in the hospital. An unresponsive patient with breathing tubes and monitor wires … Continue reading →
In her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying,” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss American psychiatrist, introduced us to what we now know as five stages of grief. When she originally penned these stages they were called the five stages of death. At the time, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was working with terminally ill patients and she cited these five emotions as what were … Continue reading →
Previously I shared a post on Styles of Grief but here I want to share a post on Types of Grief. I’m taking my lead from several sources that have referenced multiple types of grief. So I am going to yield to their wisdom, and am going to use the terms used by Liz Kelly, a licensed social worker in … Continue reading →
Sitting with families who are hearing the bad news of a loved-ones death is a near daily occurrence for me, as a hospital chaplain at a trauma center. Since transferring to this trauma hospital and having this regular occurrence of witnessing people’s reaction to a death notification, my curiosity of grief styles has gripped my interest. The way people respond … Continue reading →
It wasn’t long into my hospital chaplaincy career that I figured out that physicians do not like notifying a family that their patient loved-one has died. I’m mainly referring to a patient who has come into the Emergency Department because of a trauma like a motor vehicle crash or a cardiac arrest. Typically the family of these patients are led … Continue reading →
I want to speak to pastoral care in the context of ministry within the role of serving as a pastor. So here I wish to bullet a few points to consider. • Too often the image of a pastor is built around a “leader-executive” role, but not that of a shepherd. The pastor is expected to focused on getting butts … Continue reading →