Grief can feel like a thick fog that prevents you from thinking clearly or even thinking beyond the moment. It can arrest you with its shock and leave you feeling numb. During the early stages of grief our mind can’t easily focus outside the current circumstance. However, the time will come when it will be easier to look outside your … Continue reading →
Somewhere on social media I saw a quote that expressed the idea that grief is an ocean. I don’t know where I saw it, who said it or how it was originally said, but I remember it being put like this: Grief is like the ocean, you can’t stop it, you can only learn to swim in it. That’s a … Continue reading →
I watched an elderly gentleman struggling with saying goodbye to his older dying sister. It was obvious that he felt awkward and was grappling with what to say. He stammered, “You look good today” then he blurted out “My, are we having good weather” and then finally said “Oh, you have a lot of visitors” before he turned away from … Continue reading →
There is a popular adage that goes, “Time heals all things.” While there is some truth to that, it doesn’t mean that healing from our loss will automatically occur with the passage of time. It may be more accurate to say, “Time helps the healing of all things.” I believe it was Billy Graham who once said, “It’s not time … Continue reading →
An advance directive for medical care is how we make our wishes known to our family and healthcare providers if we become too ill to speak for ourselves. Let me mention some medical circumstances that having an advanced directive from the patient is helpful and beneficial. If you get in a terrible car accident or have a bad stroke or … Continue reading →
I want to address the issue of children in grief and how adults can best help them cope and process their feelings through their journey of grief. So here I am going to share 8 tips or principles and insights to consider when you are in a role of guiding a child through their grief. Know that grieving is unique … Continue reading →
Many years ago I saw a Larry King television show where he was interviewing Tommy Lasorda about the unexpected death of his adult son. Larry King use to have a late night television interview show where he interviewed celebrities and all kinds of famous people. Tommy Lasorda was the manager for the LA Dodgers in the 90’s and very popular … Continue reading →
The immediate shock and despair of a loved one’s passing can leave us feeling hopeless about the future. No matter how much we may think we are prepared, death is devastating. It is the perfect earthly definition of finality, and it’s why we sometimes doubt that we’ll ever feel hopeful again. However, this is an issue dealt with in the … Continue reading →
It is a very emotionally difficult position to be in when a physician asks the family if they want them to do all they can to keep your loved one alive or if you want them to pass away naturally. That conversation, if unprepared for, is very hard to navigate because no one wants to feel like they are choosing … Continue reading →
If you do a music app or some type of music download service that allows you to build a playlist, consider building one that will support your grief journey. Music can be therapeutic and having a playlist like this can help you grieve appropriately. Yes, listening to some of these songs will bring a tear to your eye but they’ll … Continue reading →
There are signs of dying when a loved-one is struggling with a terminal disease or for whatever reason is at the end of their life. People don’t die in real life as they do in the movies. Hollywood often portrays death as a split second closing of the eyes while the person is speaking in mid-sentence. Dying isn’t so clean … Continue reading →
When a loved one dies, the love that you’ve had for them or with them does not die. Love and the relationship that you have had does not die with the person. You still carry that love with you and that is the reason you are grieving the loss. With the person no longer available for you to express your … Continue reading →
In the process of grieving, there is no time frame assigned or one-size fits all approach to assure a healthy grieving process. There are elements to healthy grieving that one can be intentionally incorporate into their grieving experience, and that is what I want to share here. I want to share some objectives to aim for as you move forward … Continue reading →
I want to address a topic that I find myself dealing with from time to time as a hospital chaplain and that is notifying children of a family death. It is not uncommon for children to be shielded from the condition of a dying parent or family member in the hospital. An unresponsive patient with breathing tubes and monitor wires … Continue reading →
In her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying,” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss American psychiatrist, introduced us to what we now know as five stages of grief. When she originally penned these stages they were called the five stages of death. At the time, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was working with terminally ill patients and she cited these five emotions as what were … Continue reading →
Previously I shared a post on Styles of Grief but here I want to share a post on Types of Grief. I’m taking my lead from several sources that have referenced multiple types of grief. So I am going to yield to their wisdom, and am going to use the terms used by Liz Kelly, a licensed social worker in … Continue reading →
Sitting with families who are hearing the bad news of a loved-ones death is a near daily occurrence for me, as a hospital chaplain at a trauma center. Since transferring to this trauma hospital and having this regular occurrence of witnessing people’s reaction to a death notification, my curiosity of grief styles has gripped my interest. The way people respond … Continue reading →
It wasn’t long into my hospital chaplaincy career that I figured out that physicians do not like notifying a family that their patient loved-one has died. I’m mainly referring to a patient who has come into the Emergency Department because of a trauma like a motor vehicle crash or a cardiac arrest. Typically the family of these patients are led … Continue reading →
Here in America, we have close to 50,000 people a year who die by suicide. The majority of whom were struggling with a mental illness, either a diagnosed condition or acknowledged depression. Think of this, a person has to be in a very low state of mind to actually take their own life. So whether a person is on mental … Continue reading →