“Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” — John 16:20 NIV The things that excite this world are not the same as what inspires a follower of Jesus Christ. The world may celebrate immorality, knowingly promote a lie, and applaud when truth is … Continue reading →
I recently watched a documentary that followed a grief counselor as he gave advice and counsel to people and families facing death. I found it very thought provoking because his basic philosophy was that people shouldn’t fear death but instead should see it merely as a part of life. The setting for this documentary and the location of the grief … Continue reading →
Sitting with families who are hearing the bad news of a loved one’s death was a nearly daily occurrence for me when I worked as a hospital chaplain at a trauma center. The way people respond to a physician’s death notification varies so greatly that I began to wonder why and if there is something to be learned about such … Continue reading →
There are three things that I hear as a chaplain from people who are counting down the days of their lives. I’ve heard these things as both a hospital chaplain and as a hospice chaplain. These patients have the same common denominator and that is that they are dying and they know it. Here are the three things that I … Continue reading →
Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist and university professor at the Stanford School of Medicine who offers YouTube videos and podcasts on the neuroscience behind human wellness. Not long ago I listened to a two-hour explanation by him on the neuroscience behind why we grieve after a loss of a loved one. I found it to be absolutely fascinating and thought … Continue reading →
I’ve written several posts on various aspects of grief and I have written on the value of using Scripture in pastoral care ministry and visitation. So here I simply want to share some passages from the Bible that can be helpful to encourage those in grief. You can also find other verses at the Topical Verse Finder‘s page on Grief. … Continue reading →
Years ago I worked with a chaplain who would frequently tell me, “Don’t lose your peace.” This chaplain was an Irish Catholic nun who had one of the most beautiful characters you would ever meet. She was older, close to retirement at the time, and her wisdom was refreshing to our pastoral care team at this hospital. Her statement, “Don’t … Continue reading →
Most of us have heard it said, “When it’s your turn to go, it’s your turn to go” or “When your number comes up, there’s nothing you can do about it” or “We all have an appointed time to go.” I think there is a lot of truth to these statements because I’ve seen otherwise perfectly healthy people not respond … Continue reading →
Grief can feel like a thick fog that prevents you from thinking clearly or even thinking beyond the moment. It can arrest you with its shock and leave you feeling numb. During the early stages of grief our mind can’t easily focus outside the current circumstance. However, the time will come when it will be easier to look outside your … Continue reading →
Somewhere on social media I saw a quote that expressed the idea that grief is an ocean. I don’t know where I saw it, who said it or how it was originally said, but I remember it being put like this: Grief is like the ocean, you can’t stop it, you can only learn to swim in it. That’s a … Continue reading →
I watched an elderly gentleman struggling with saying goodbye to his older dying sister. It was obvious that he felt awkward and was grappling with what to say. He stammered, “You look good today” then he blurted out “My, are we having good weather” and then finally said “Oh, you have a lot of visitors” before he turned away from … Continue reading →
There is a popular adage that goes, “Time heals all things.” While there is some truth to that, it doesn’t mean that healing from our loss will automatically occur with the passage of time. It may be more accurate to say, “Time helps the healing of all things.” I believe it was Billy Graham who once said, “It’s not time … Continue reading →
An advance directive for medical care is how we make our wishes known to our family and healthcare providers if we become too ill to speak for ourselves. Let me mention some medical circumstances that having an advanced directive from the patient is helpful and beneficial. If you get in a terrible car accident or have a bad stroke or … Continue reading →
I want to address the issue of children in grief and how adults can best help them cope and process their feelings through their journey of grief. So here I am going to share 8 tips or principles and insights to consider when you are in a role of guiding a child through their grief. Know that grieving is unique … Continue reading →
Many years ago I saw a Larry King television show where he was interviewing Tommy Lasorda about the unexpected death of his adult son. Larry King use to have a late night television interview show where he interviewed celebrities and all kinds of famous people. Tommy Lasorda was the manager for the LA Dodgers in the 90’s and very popular … Continue reading →
The immediate shock and despair of a loved one’s passing can leave us feeling hopeless about the future. No matter how much we may think we are prepared, death is devastating. It is the perfect earthly definition of finality, and it’s why we sometimes doubt that we’ll ever feel hopeful again. However, this is an issue dealt with in the … Continue reading →
It is a very emotionally difficult position to be in when a physician asks the family if they want them to do all they can to keep your loved one alive or if you want them to pass away naturally. That conversation, if unprepared for, is very hard to navigate because no one wants to feel like they are choosing … Continue reading →
If you do a music app or some type of music download service that allows you to build a playlist, consider building one that will support your grief journey. Music can be therapeutic and having a playlist like this can help you grieve appropriately. Yes, listening to some of these songs will bring a tear to your eye but they’ll … Continue reading →
When a loved one dies, the love that you’ve had for them or with them does not die. Love and the relationship that you have had does not die with the person. You still carry that love with you and that is the reason you are grieving the loss. With the person no longer available for you to express your … Continue reading →
In the process of grieving, there is no time frame assigned or one-size fits all approach to assure a healthy grieving process. There are elements to healthy grieving that one can be intentionally incorporate into their grieving experience, and that is what I want to share here. I want to share some objectives to aim for as you move forward … Continue reading →
I want to address a topic that I find myself dealing with from time to time as a hospital chaplain and that is notifying children of a family death. It is not uncommon for children to be shielded from the condition of a dying parent or family member in the hospital. An unresponsive patient with breathing tubes and monitor wires … Continue reading →
In her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying,” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss American psychiatrist, introduced us to what we now know as five stages of grief. When she originally penned these stages they were called the five stages of death. At the time, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was working with terminally ill patients and she cited these five emotions as what were … Continue reading →
Previously I shared a post on Styles of Grief but here I want to share a post on Types of Grief. I’m taking my lead from several sources that have referenced multiple types of grief. So I am going to yield to their wisdom, and am going to use the terms used by Liz Kelly, a licensed social worker in … Continue reading →
Sitting with families who are hearing the bad news of a loved-ones death is a near daily occurrence for me, as a hospital chaplain at a trauma center. Since transferring to this trauma hospital and having this regular occurrence of witnessing people’s reaction to a death notification, my curiosity of grief styles has gripped my interest. The way people respond … Continue reading →