It is no secret that since my work as a hospital chaplain I have enjoyed an active ministry officiating beach weddings and vow renewals – over 4000 and I have had the good fortune to appear on ABC Good Morning America, Fox News, and other TV outlets.
My ministry is somewhat shifting to investing more time in providing an alternative to formal marriage counseling and a ministry to help couples and individuals prepare for their marriage and/or regain the relationship they once had in their marriage.
Success in marriage has more to do with properly managing the balance of conflict and romance. Both have a lot of variables that differ from couple to couple. So in my ministry to help coach couples through rough patches to satisfying relationships, I use a few educational tools through discussion in person at our Chapel or by phone or by Skype.
The Key is Conflict
My Grandma once told me, “We all learn to love. Love is what brings us together, but fighting, and learning how to fight fair is what keeps us together.” There is a lot of truth to that, but it is a truth that is often not understood until we are far down the road of aging.
If you talk to couples who have been marriage 20, 30, 40, years or more you will hear a similar experience – there were times we came close to calling it quit, but after sticking it out and getting further down the road we woke up one day realizing that we’ve arrived.
How we handle conflict in marriage is usually how we determined to handle it before we even have conflict. That’s why I do offer premarital consulting and encourage couples to take the 5 Love Language inventory before they marry.
Marriage should be a little bit of heaven on earth. It is given to humanity as the living representation of the image of our Creator, a model of the heavenly union between Christ and the Church.
Marriage is not just a gift to make us happy, but also to make us holy, which it does through its unique character sanctifying relational dynamics of commitment with one different from the other, and the ideal of perpetuating the human family through the ability to procreate and parent through the context that mirrors the image of God through a mother and father, husband and wife, male and female.
However, we are sinful humans and conflicts arise frequently in the best of marriage relationships, so I encourage couples to settle in their hearts and minds to be committed to making their marriage successful.
I am not a licensed or clinically trained counselor, but as a church pastor I am sometimes available to meet with couples who would like to talk about their current relationship status, to prepare for marriage itself or to work on improving it now. Please contact me if you have any questions or would like to talk
Marriage Ministry • The Grandma Story • Premarital Counseling • “FORGIVE & LOVE” Premarital Assessment • “PRAYER” Resolution Guide • 5 Love Languages • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 • Conflict Assessment • Need to Talk?